"I Won't Stop 'Til She's Sassified."

To preface my post I need to write that it takes a lot to truly shock me. I was surprised that it took my office Christmas party to do it. ***WARNING TO THE FAINT OF HEART: I usually try to keep this blog family friendly, but as I have posted some of the lyrics from some of the songs played this weekend, this post may not be suitable for your mom.***

So, Henry and I went to our 4th annual office Christmas party last night. It was held in the Grand Eagle Ballroom at the Hyatt. It was supposed to be classy. This would be my 3rd and Henry's 1st with this company (He's worked there longer than me). It went from boring to inappropriate in record time. I don't think it could have been any worse than if it had been planned by some ditzy 16-year-old girls hired from one of the local high schools' student council. I think all that was missing was a giant banner saying "A Night IN Paris."

Walking in the door, I knew it wasn't going to be a good party. All the red flags were there: karaoke, bad Christmas music and questionable "gourmet" food. I took extra care in avoiding certain people that I work with to ensure that I would have a good evening. This was all done in vain.

During the "meal," but prior to the dancing, we had a discussion about the music that would be played. It would be mostly obligatory dance music, like "YMCA" or "The Electric Slide (both were played throughout the evening."

Sure enough, after the "meal," the DJ kicked the night of wild dancing with a dance remix of all the obligitory dance songs rolled into one: Tag Team's "Whoomp! There It Is"/Technotronic's "Pump Up the Jam"/The Village People's "YMCA." It was one of those bad sports remixes. I felt like I was at a basketball game.

Then the DJ went right into Nelly "Hot In Herrre." Completely inappropriate. It wasn't even hot in the room.

Things took a turn for the worst when he played marangue and salsa music for the latino crowd and a couple of white ladies began dancing to the music like white ladies.

Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, the DJ thought it was time for the "Tush Push." I'm assuming the song that people dance the tush push to is, in fact, called "Tush Push." I am not OK with sexually explicit songs at an office Christmas party (or anywhere for that matter). It was just a little AWKWARD. With lyrics like "Stroke it, stroke it, stroke it," "I won't stop 'til she's sassified," "Have you ever made love on the back seat of a car?" or "If my stuff ain't tight enough, you can stick it in my ____," I don't see why I would be shocked. Some of the people dancing to it were older than my parents.

To top it off, the DJ pumped out Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back." Remember, I was not at a club, but at a "classy" office Christmas party held in the ballroom at the Hyatt.

You may ask "why didn't you leave?" They were giving away prizes! I can't refuse the chance to win free stuff. I love free stuff. Too bad I didn't get anything but weird gourmet food and an awkward night on the town with my office.