About bad grammar (you didn't think I'd leave this one alone, did you? If you did, then you don't know me very well):

I got an e-mail at work that read as follows:

Per D:
Her and R have switched lunch times today.

After reading the e-mail I said aloud "[so & so] needs to learn to use good grammar. Bad grammar irritates me!" Then a co-worker (who is always irritated at me for one reason or another) turned around to say (unintentionally using bad grammar): "Not nobody doesn't use good grammar like Nathaniel Goold!"

That cracked me up. Though that was funny, bad grammar is nothing to laugh at. Seriously.