Thank You, Captain Obvious

Though I don't think imminent threats against our country are funny, Bin Laden's tapes are. Why are they funny? Because he somehow manages to make some of the biggest understatements...ever. Here is today's understatement of the year.

From CNN.com: ...Attacks against America "are in the planning stages and you will see them in the heart of your land as soon as the planning is complete."

Really? Is that what you do when you're done planning something? You do it? Huh...

Frick On a Stick!

As you've probably noticed, I now have an actual website. It's been pretty messy around here for the last few days... and it's going to get worse. I'm just giving you fair warning...

The Plaque for the Alternates Is In the Ladies' Room

In our visual communications class today, our professor showed us a picture of an airplane on an aircraft carrier. Let's pretend that the above picture is the picture we were looking at. Our professor asked "What do you think of when you see this picture?" Top Gun was the unanimous response.

She then asked "How do you feel when you think of Top Gun?"

Some idiot in front gave the stupidest answer to her question. In fact, it wasn't even related to the question at hand. It was so worthless, I will spare you, good reader, and paraphrase his non-answer.

"Blah blah blah blah unrealistic blah blah."

I didn't like his answer, so I told the guy that when I think of Top Gun, I feel dangerous. He said "I don't like you because you're dangerous." Then I said: "That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous."

When I think of Top Gun I get PUMPED UP! FAST JETS! AFTERBURNERS! BREAKING THE SOUND BARRIER! MACH SPEED! FIGHTING! LOUD NOISE! YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELING! ARGHHH! I GET PUMPED UP JUST THINKING ABOUT IT! ARGHHH! NO GOOSE! NO!!!! ARGHHHH!!!!!

Man, that guy was a stupid lame-o.

Dr. Acula

My wife and I have been watching a lot of Scrubs. We have the first two seasons on DVD, so we now watch at least two episodes a day. I missed the entire first two seasons (for religious reasons). These are all new to me. This show is freaking underrated and freaking hilarious and it's a shame that not too many people watch it. Tuesday is the new Christmas because NBC has been showing two new episodes every Tuesday. This is one of the only shows that I watch that is consistently, laugh-out-loud funny.

On a separate matter, I'm annoyed at Fox for deciding to show Arrested Development's season finale on February 10th... the same night as the opening ceremony for the winter Olympics. Yeah, it's really going to draw in the big numbers on that night. SAVE THE BLUTHS!.

San Francisco: The Gayest Place On Earth

And by "gay" in mean happy(?) (Yes, I realize sarcasm does not translate well on the internet. No, I wasn't being sarcastic).


It's been a week since my wife and I returned from our visit to San Francisco and I'm just now writing about it. I am disappointed, because I don't have pictures of the craziest stuff that we saw there.

During our first morning in town, as we were asking the lady at the front desk about how to get to Fisherman's Wharf, a drunk guy wandered into the lobby asking for the restroom. The lady told him they didn't have any. Then he tried to take all the complimentary candy in the dish at the front desk. The lady got nervous an tried to "help" him to the door. The drunk guy told the lady that he loved her and then she pushed him out the door.

It was pretty funny.

On the wharf I spotted advertisements for In-N-Out Burger and Hooters placed next to each other. This is either tasteless or genius marketing.


We spent the entire day at Fisherman's Wharf. We ate at the Hard Rock cafe. We went to Alcatraz, too. Before we got on the ferry, we were forced to have our picture take-- one of the worst pictures I've ever had taken. I'll probably post it here later.

On the ferry to Alcatraz, I met a Brazilian family from Sao Paulo. They just got in from a 12 day stay in Hawaii and were going back home tomorrow. They were nice. They were rich. I was jealous.

Alcatraz was creepy. Mostly because I was there.

We went to the aquarium where I made some friends (with benefits).

Later we saw an FBI/IRS bust by the wharf. The pictures didn't turn out, but it was pretty exciting. Then we shopped for some souvenirs, and I found this bizarre magnet:
Anybody have any idea what this is? Besides really offensive?

We went home for the evening and then went up the next day to visit my grandparents for a few days. We returned a few days later to San Francisco and I saw this:

I wish you could see it, but the man is carrying an iPod. It's too small to fit in his cut-offs (there are dozens of us. DOZENS!). Gross.

Overall, San Francisco was pretty crazy, but it was fun. I'm sure we'll be back (that was not a Governator reference. Seriously).