Parisians Know Their Demographic

I was scanning some pictures from my trip to Europe way back in 1999 into my computer tonight and I came across a picture that I took of a store called "Homeboys" in Paris, France. As ridiculous as it seems, this is a real store. It's a store for African Americans even. In Paris, France. No, it doesn't make sense to me either (Neither does Disneyland Paris). However, they've shut them all down since the war in Iraq began. I made that last part up. But they could have. French.

Dance Dance Evolution!

A federal judge in Pennsylvania ruled yesterday that intelligent design could not be taught in a Pennsylvania public school district. Read bout it here or here.

I believe that we were all created by intelligent design, but not everyone sees it that way. That's OK. But this issue is irritating, because no one will ever see eye-to-eye on this. It has become a bigger issue than it should be.

What I hate most about this issue is how this thing has turned into a separation of church versus state thing. That's not really what it should be about. Here's why: When people talk about the separation of church and state, they refer to the first amendment of the Bill of Rights. The first amendment states, and I quote:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances."

I may be wrong, but according to the first amendment, it says that congress cannot establish a state sanctioned religion and then make everyone follow it.

The theory of evolution versus intelligent design argument should not be a separation of church versus state issue. The real issue here is whether or not God is appropriate for science class.

Because science is a class that is fact based, intelligent design cannot be taught. Intelligent design relies on faith based text to present evidence of a supreme being. As most people never claim to have seen God (or any other supreme being for that matter) and it cannot be proven with solid evidence that He exists, intelligent design cannot be taught as fact. Therefore, intelligent design is not appropriate for the science classroom.

On the same token, Darwin's theory of evolution has not been proven as fact either. Hence the fact that it is still a theory. The problem we find with the theory of evolution is that many scientists accept it as the gospel truth and refuse to believe that the human race came anywhere else besides from apes. However, the theory of evolution as Charles Dawrin saw it has yet to be proven as fact, so it should not be taught in a general science class either.

After much debate, Henry and I decided that instead of eliminating intelligent design and evolution from schools completely, a new class should be established: an optional scientific theory class. That way, all scientific theories could be taught in one class for all to hear if they wanted. It wouldn't be a mandated course, so those who refuse to believe in either intelligent design or evolution (or both) wouldn't have to participate, thus eliminating most controversy surrounding those theories (or facts, depending on which way you swing).

Problem solved.

Iran Bans Westerners From the World

First the president denies the Holocaust happened. Iranian officials said that his comments were "misunderstood." Now Iran decided to ban western music. It's not a secret that Iran is building nuclear weapons. Doesn't anyone see what's going to happen next? Iran will be passing out eviction notices to the west soon. You don't have to be Ms Cleo. "The cards don't lie!" Seriously.

On an unrelated note, this was my 100th post. Thanks Iran! Yes you!

"I Won't Stop 'Til She's Sassified."

To preface my post I need to write that it takes a lot to truly shock me. I was surprised that it took my office Christmas party to do it. ***WARNING TO THE FAINT OF HEART: I usually try to keep this blog family friendly, but as I have posted some of the lyrics from some of the songs played this weekend, this post may not be suitable for your mom.***

So, Henry and I went to our 4th annual office Christmas party last night. It was held in the Grand Eagle Ballroom at the Hyatt. It was supposed to be classy. This would be my 3rd and Henry's 1st with this company (He's worked there longer than me). It went from boring to inappropriate in record time. I don't think it could have been any worse than if it had been planned by some ditzy 16-year-old girls hired from one of the local high schools' student council. I think all that was missing was a giant banner saying "A Night IN Paris."

Walking in the door, I knew it wasn't going to be a good party. All the red flags were there: karaoke, bad Christmas music and questionable "gourmet" food. I took extra care in avoiding certain people that I work with to ensure that I would have a good evening. This was all done in vain.

During the "meal," but prior to the dancing, we had a discussion about the music that would be played. It would be mostly obligatory dance music, like "YMCA" or "The Electric Slide (both were played throughout the evening."

Sure enough, after the "meal," the DJ kicked the night of wild dancing with a dance remix of all the obligitory dance songs rolled into one: Tag Team's "Whoomp! There It Is"/Technotronic's "Pump Up the Jam"/The Village People's "YMCA." It was one of those bad sports remixes. I felt like I was at a basketball game.

Then the DJ went right into Nelly "Hot In Herrre." Completely inappropriate. It wasn't even hot in the room.

Things took a turn for the worst when he played marangue and salsa music for the latino crowd and a couple of white ladies began dancing to the music like white ladies.

Just when we thought things couldn't get any worse, the DJ thought it was time for the "Tush Push." I'm assuming the song that people dance the tush push to is, in fact, called "Tush Push." I am not OK with sexually explicit songs at an office Christmas party (or anywhere for that matter). It was just a little AWKWARD. With lyrics like "Stroke it, stroke it, stroke it," "I won't stop 'til she's sassified," "Have you ever made love on the back seat of a car?" or "If my stuff ain't tight enough, you can stick it in my ____," I don't see why I would be shocked. Some of the people dancing to it were older than my parents.

To top it off, the DJ pumped out Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back." Remember, I was not at a club, but at a "classy" office Christmas party held in the ballroom at the Hyatt.

You may ask "why didn't you leave?" They were giving away prizes! I can't refuse the chance to win free stuff. I love free stuff. Too bad I didn't get anything but weird gourmet food and an awkward night on the town with my office.

Jerk of the Year Named

After weeks of speculation, a man named Randall has officially won the title of "Jerk of the Year."

I was surprised tonight that Donald Trump ("The Donald") was going to hire both of The Apprentice finalists. Before making the decision Donald Trump asked Randall if he should also hire Rebecca. I was shocked when the supposed "Mr. Nice Guy" told Trump that the show was called "The Apprentice" and that's how it should stay. Harsh.

I think that his move even surprised Trump.

It's hard to beleive that Rebecca and Randall were "friends."

I feel bad that everyone loved Randall because he was supposedly a nice guy. Those few seconds let us see him for what he really is: an egomaniacal jerk.

I hope he's happy, because I'm sure Rebecca's not.

Again, I Don't Have to Explain This One Either

This was on CNN.com Thursday night. If I have to explain it, it's not funny.

No Explanation Needed

This was a headline in yesterday's Wichita Eagle. Brilliant.

311 Is My New Favorite Band

“Scott was looking for a fight -- and that's what he got.”

Billboard.com reported today that on Thanksgiving Day, the band 311 got into a fight with crap singer Scott Stapp (ex-singer for Creed). I'm glad somebody finally did something a lot of people have been wanting to do for a long time now. Take that Scott Stapp!

UPDATE: According to the Associated Press, there appears to be some confusion over who started the fight. Regardless, 311 is still my hero.

Synergy!!!

There's good news and there's bad news. The bad news is that after nearly a year and a half, the Brown Polyester Blog will be no more. The name is being retired. The good news, however, is that during the holidays I will be merging my podcast and my blog into one website: fightinginasack.com. The web site is named after a song by The Shins. If you go there now, you'll be redirected here. Tell your friends!